Judicious June – No alcohol or processed carbs for 30 days: Day 1

I turned 26 two days ago. The time is starting to slip away faster and faster, just as everyone always said it would, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on my life and my choices over the course of the last 26 years. I feel as if I have been living life to the fullest these last several months, but with those feelings of joy come the results of indulging just a tad too much on a regular basis, and I feel like now is a good time to make some positive changes regarding my health. Most days you’ll find me trudging miles through wetlands counting ducks, but I’ve been spending my weekends eating delicious foods and enjoying quite a bit of my local beer culture for too many weeks to count. That is why, starting today, I will be attempting my own version of Whole30 (which I researched thoroughly and absolutely loathed…just give the people their pancakes goddammit) and cutting out alcohol and processed carbs (basically anything with flour) until July 1st. I will be posting my low-carb (carb free is a pipe dream) recipes and my daily trials and tribulations, and I hope you will follow along! I am also hoping you will keep me accountable and believe that I can actually succeed, which seems rather daunting at this point. Here’s what I’m worried about so far:

First Day Worries:

  • Grad students go out to a brewery for FAC (Friday Afternoon Club) every week, and today will be my first attempt at going to this event without partaking in a beverage. I’m hoping against hope that today’s brewery features a nice refreshing seltzer water.
  • I am attending a wedding reception tomorrow that is essentially a house party. Time to get real comfortable talking to strangers in the most sober way possible. Here’s a salad for your wedding gift…no croutons allowed.
  • I have always found it difficult to turn vegetables into a satiating, interesting dish without simply making a salad. Hopefully my hunger will inspire some creativity.
  • Smoothies are one of my favorite breakfast foods, but leave me feeling hungry within an hour or two.

First Day Hopes and Dreams:

  • I will sleep better (I already sleep like a dead person most nights, but alcohol definitely affects that occasionally)
  • I will have more energy
  • My intestines will be happy
  • I might lose a bit of weight
  • I will prove to myself that alcohol is not necessary to have fun
  • I will experience what recovering alcoholics go through on a regular basis (This John Mulaney quote from New In Town really seems to apply: “The first is that when you stop drinking and you still go to parties where people are drinking, they will have no idea what to offer you. Like once people start drinking for the night, they forget everything that isn’t alcohol. Like ill show up at a party and they’ll be like: “(acting as if to point) Hey everybody! Alright we got Coronas in the fridge and Oh! Hey! Mulaney! Would you like, like an old turnip we found in the cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? (His eyes are now wide open). I know you don’t drink (winking, audience laughs). Or my girlfriend left a Nuva Ring in the fridge, would you want that? (winking) I know you don’t drink!” (Pauses)”)

Today’s Meals:

  • Peanut butter banana smoothie
  • Apple and beet salad with balsamic viniagrette
  • Dinner has yet to happen


Stay tuned! Here’s me holding a duck:


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